If TMI doesn’t update for a while, it’s because I’m preoccupied. Hell, I’m probably bawling my eyes out. As it is, I can barely see what I’m writing right now.


This is Shadow. The fat kitty. Only she’s not so fat these days. She’s lost a lot of weight these last few months, so much so that I can’t bear to take a picture of her now.

She’s actually pretty ill. She was throwing up Thursday, and come Friday I found her under my bed, too weak to get up on it. When she did move around she was in obvious pain.

I was able to get her to the vet Saturday and in examining her the vet found an unusual mass in her abdomen that could simply be an out of place kidney. The other kidney, she said, was lumpy and unusual. They took some x-rays (won’t have anything conclusive on them until Monday afternoon) and drew blood. The also gave her some fluids intravenously.

For a little while it seemed like she was doing better. But that was just the effect of the sedatives necessary to x-ray a cat.

The vet called this morning and told me what I should have suspected all along. I’ve had Shadow for a little over 12 years now, and she wasn’t young when I rescued her. She’s an old cat. The blood work shows that her kidneys are in failure and she’s got an infection. The vet told me that IV hydration might do her some good, especially if it’s the infection that’s causing the trouble. But even then, it will only be temporary.

I suppose I’m lucky. I’ve never had a pet as long as I’ve had her, and she’d always been quite healthy.

What shames and horrifies me is that I have to look at how much this will cost; hundreds of dollars. Money I simply don’t have. Money I don’t expect to have. Money that even if I had, I’d have to use for other things.

And I can’t leave her to suffer.

Update 5/4/09 10:00 am – The vet called with the radiologists report.  There’s nothing particularly scary other than noting that her kidneys are small and misshapen.  Since many generous, wonderful readers have donated just over $300 so far (need about $750) I’m going to take her in tomorrow to start her on IV fluids and hope for the best.

Thank you everyone!