Anxiety Dream: Oh no! You just accidentally uploaded a bunch of porn pictures to Facebook. You have to delete them before anyone sees them. Nope, can’t do it all at once. Nope, each deletion takes a bunch of key strokes and mouse clicks and it’s never the same way twice.

Rationality: Hold on. I’m asleep. And the pics you’re showing me aren’t even part of my “collection.”

Anxiety: OH NO! You did it in your sleep. You have to get up now to fix it or you’ll get banned or something.

Rationality: Hardly. I haven’t been out of bed. I recognize the dream state I was in where you showed me accidentally uploading to Facebook. That isn’t even what Facebook looks like.

Anxiety: Uh, a hacker did it. Someone uploaded those pics and, uh, they won’t go away. See? Some of it’s really nasty (but you don’t get to actually see it). Lots of people will be offended and you’ll get banned! AHHHHHH!

Rationality: Really? You were saying I did it just a moment ago. No, I know password security. I don’t collect anything nasty, which is why you don’t actually have any to show me. And I could care less if I get banned from Facebook.

Anxiety: Uhm, er… Oh yeah. You did it from here (dream state). And you can’t fix it from here. You gotta get up and look. Quick!

Rationality: I have a web browser built into my brain? I think I would have noticed. Where would I keep the browse cache and cookies? My memory is too rotten for that.

Anxiety: No! You need to get up and check Facebook just in case you’re wrong.

Rationality: I’ll check Facebook when I’m good and ready and I won’t waste my time looking for pics that aren’t there.

Anxiety: Wait! You wanted to get up early. You must have overslept because you haven’t looked at the clock. And you really need to fix-

Rationality: Oh for- See?! It’s not even 7 AM. I don’t have to get up for over an hour and-. Dammit, he got me. Well, I’m going back to sleep.

Axiety: Hey! You forgot to go delete all that porn on Facebook. Then you need to-

Rationality: NO! I’ve got an hour of sleep before my alarm goes off and I REMEMBER setting it.

Anxiety: Are you SURE about-

Rationality: Yes, I-